Sunday, February 15, 2009

Bath Time....

I have decided the one day I'm really not so enthusiastic about, would have to be Bath Day.
I am seriously not amused by the all. I cannot stress this point enough.
Quite simple really. I look like a drowned chihuahua crossed with a poodle having a bad hair day. I'm all boggle eyes and skin. It's just so very unattractive. Nothing remotely butch about it at all. It reminds me of a picture of an anorexic piggy bank I once saw. It's so hard to try and imagine you're a rottie when your Mum is cleaning your privates for you, I mean, I can clean it on my own thank you very much and have been cleaning it on my own for about a year now. And let's not even mention how humiliating it is listening to my mum making those silly cooing noises she thinks will help encourage, soothe and calm me when all I want to do is shake all that bloody water right on top of her. First chance I get I race outside and roll around in the grass to reduce the sickeningly sweet, and markedly girly clean smell to a more blokey level.
But in the interests of smelling good for my humans and getting rid of the scourge of the earth - fleas, I tolerate the unmanly practice so I am still allowed inside to snuggle with my favourite people in the whole wide world (okay - my whole wide neighbourhood.) And yes even after the indignity I just suffered, they are still my favourite people. I'm like one of those hyenas from The Lion King - all giggly, happy, eager to please and show them how much I adore them. It's quite sad really.
Garden hoses, hmmm..... another item I can live without and could quite happily chew the marrow out of. As soon as I see Dad head outside to water the grass, I magically turn into a greyhound and race off inside to hide under the nearest bed. My fastest times are quite really they are!
Don't know why I am not really fond of water to tell the truth, all I know is that I just don't like water and it just makes me uneasy to be around...unless I am drinking it out of my bowl. Then it is perfectly small amounts.....on my terms.....without having to stand in it and have it dripping in my boggly eyes and making me look like an anorexic piggy bank.

Till next time...

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